


Diary of a dead boy

by ZackariMoon



Series: Broken Boys [1]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2020-12-28 11:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21136031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZackariMoon/pseuds/ZackariMoon
Summary: "Going through old boxes, from his messy room, I find a book."The end is not a part of this timeline.





	1. Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> I'm horrible at writing, but uhm, please enjoy!!^^

I was tasked with cleaning out his room. Shoving things in boxes, old stuffies, old books, I didn't pay attention. I lifted up a box of his clothes and headed to the attic. Dropping it to ground of the messy dimly lit room I went back down the steps, passing by Edd and Matts room, then my own and then into his. Box after box got dumped into the attic of our home.

I looked at the grey carpeted ground. The room was nearly empty, just the bed a dresser and a couple more boxes, one full of his old toys, and then one full of books. Walking over to the box of toys, I lifted it up, huffing slightly. He was such a child, it was irritating, but cute in a way, I guess. I took light steps with the box clutched in my hands, examining the toys I could see. A few robots, some dolls, and the rest I couldn't see. I sighed as I dropped the box, going downnto grab the last one. I looked at the cream coloured walls, all our photos still up, Then one of just him, he had a wide smile on his face and he was holding up the peace sign. I scowled and took the pictures of him down. They will only make them hurt. I walked into his room again and sighed seeing the box was knocked over and the books I had cleaned up all strewn about. Then on the bed was a book, it was covered in leather, of his favourite colour, it was old and well used. It was a gift on his birthday when he turned 16.. he hadn't used it till he turned 19 though. I noticed the clasp was undone, a chill ran over my spine when I grabbed the book. It wouldn't hurt to take a peek, right?... in a minute, I should finish putting the rest of the books away.


	2. A look back in time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy!!! I worked really hard onnthis chapter!!!

I walked to my room with the leather book in hand. I sat down on my bed, and just stared at the book for a moment. It felt as though time sropped, as I ran a finger along the cover of the book, the rough texture of the leather reminding me of why we got it.

_It was hot, the day we went to the store, but we all skiled and laughed telling jokes, it was his birthday soon, so we wanted to buy him soemthing. I saw the store, full of books. He was almost always reading, and I knew he liked to write stories, so we should buy him a journal or something! I lead the other two into the building and looked st the books till I found one, bound in leather with a metal clasp, it was his favourite colour. Perfect, I grabbed it and we went to go pay. They wrapped it for us, we grinned to eachother, my cheeks hurt by the time I got home._

I closed my eyes and unclasped the book, before opening it, the smell was musty, and burned my nose for a moment, when I looked at the page, I couldn't help but smile, tjere was a picture of all four of us, taped to the back of the cover. The first page, was blank other then his handwriting that read..

This Book Belongs To..

I flipped the page, and saw more writing. I began reading the words he never spoke, the words that were forever etched into the thick paper of this book.

June 8th ××××

Today, my friends and I went to explore the forrest, I had fun.

I saw a rabbit and a squirrel, then $%&^* saw a deer. It had large horns on its head and it stared at us. I was scared, it was so big! 

he was scared of the buck we saw that day? Not too surprising he was a big baby afterall. I skimmed the rest of the page befpre flipping to the next.

June 10th ××××

Today I got sick, my friends came and told me to feel better.

Daddy made cookies, they tasted yummy. Pappa even bought me a new stuffy! I love her so much!!!

June 14th ××××

Today I went to the hospital, I was scared.

I was taken to the hospital because I got even sicker, I had to do a test, I don't know what it was but the nice nurse lady told me to pee in a cup. Do sick girls pee in cups when they get realllllyy sick too???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like the slight humour at the end of this chapter.
> 
> Let me know ifnyou find any spelling errors!!


	3. Ugly Truth

It had been a few hours after reading the first three pages, I was getting water and eating with Edd and Matt, cracking a few jokes, though it was mostly silence. It had only been a month... a month since, it happened. Since he-... I stood up, shaking my head and goingbup to my room, ignoreing the confusion in Edds voice, I sit on my bed, and start reading the book again, I feel. Drawn towards it, I wonder why. Maybe because I was the one to buy it? Or maybe because me and him weren't close to eachother, and I wanna see his real thoughts? Not that dumb cocky attitude he always seemed to wear, even though he's the most timid person you could meet. Damn it, I remember his face so clearly when ever he got scared, and it always looked, beautiful... damn him! Damn this diary!! Who even cares anymore!?!? He's gone, and he'll always be gone and it will ALWAYS be my fault.

I skimmed through a few more pages, they were mostky filled with stories from our adventures, after a moment of reading still a entry cought my attention, it wasn't dated other than the month...

July

Why does it hurt all the time?

My eyes widened some and I stared at the entry, over, and over again, re-reading it. What does he mean by that?... why does what hurt all the time!? Damn it, why didn't the bastard ever talk to us!? Maybe we could have stopped him from doing it!- 

<strike> _"Drip Drop, the rain pours down..."_  
</strike>

Was there ever any signs that he showed? His childish behaviour, he was always so happy...

_"Hey, guys, do you ever just wake up and be automatically sad?"_

_"No, only dumbasses or retards are like that. Why?"_

_"Oh, I was just wondering." He gave me that same smile as he spoke, then it began raining. "Drip Drop, the rain pours down, Drip Drop, try not to drown!-"_

_"Why is it try not to drown? Why not it be don't fall down?"_

_"Because I'm the one making the song!!!" The pout on his face that day made me laugh. "Drip Drop, the rain pours down, Drip Drop, try not to drown! Drip..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if there's any mistakes please!! I don't haveba proof reader and I ain't re reading what I'm putting down.


	4. Symptoms

_There he was on the couch, that smug smirk on his face. I scowled slightly and put my hands on my hips. I was a lot taller then him, being 6'2 and him being a gremlin after all. Though Edd and Matt were still taller then me. "Why ya smirking?" I asked flopping down beside him, and snatching the remote from his soft hands. He whined a bit when I changed the channel._

_"Do, you ever think about what it would be like if you, one day dissapeared?"_

_"No, only freaks think about dumb shit like that. Why? Do you think about that, are you a freak?" I asked him, his eyes filled with tears as he began stuttering for a reply._

_"N-no!! I-I was just- I was just wondering!!!" He squeaked a bit and ran upstairs probably to his room, I laughed as He ran off._

July 20th ××××

I feel, tired today, but I just woke up, It so cold, and I'm so hungry, but it hurts.

==== got mad at me again, I want him to be my friend, but he's really mean, and scary... 

I wanna find out what's wrong with me, but they'll just laugh, they always laugh...

Why do they laugh?... Why won't they listen?...

_"I didn't mean to! I panicked!!! I'm sorry!! Please... I can buy you a new one!!!" He was sobbing, I glared and snatched my broken phone off the ground, I heard him calling after me but I didn't listen. I kept walking, slamming the door behind me._

_"That little peice of shit. He busted you on purpose! Panicked over what!?" I snarled shoving my hands in my pockets._

I opened my eyes and sat up, finding that I had fallen asleep reading the diary, I sighed and set it beside myself, I began thinking of how he had been acting, before it happened, how he looked...

_"Wow! You're so light %%%%!! I can just pick you up like a baby!!!" Matt squealed, I stared at him, %%%% was light? I walked over and took him from Matt, he felt, thinner... he felt way to thin, he looked tired, but that might just be because he's sick... right?_

_"### let go of me!!" He began squirming around in my arms so i dropped him and walked away, hearing him yelp. I snickered, then Edd told me to apologize._

_"I'm not two, I don't have to apologize If I don't want to." I was in my room in no time._

_"Hey %%%% wanna watch a movie?" _

_"No thanks..." Was his dull reply, me and Edd blinked and stared at him._

_"You sure? We were gonna watch return of the insane zombie pirates from hell three." I told him, he just left. Went to his room, me and Edd looked at eachother and shrugged a bit. We began watching without him._

August 17th ××××

Today me and my friends went to the mall.

Augist 18th ××××

Today me and my friends joined the army.

October 31st ××××

I went trick or treating, some women beat me with her bag.

November 1st ××××

I don't like being alive anymore. 


	5. Petty Fights

The words were haunting, I could see dried drops of water, most likely his tears... 

_"Hey, You've been quiet. Cat got your tongue?"_

_"Shut up."_

_"Huh?.."_

_"I SAID SHUT UP!!" I jumped in surprise, he yelled at me?... what for?... I didn't even say anything mean!_

_"What did I do!?" I shout back at him, he glares._

_"You know exactly what you did, what you do!!! You're just an asshole that likes playing with a gay mans feelings!!!!"_

_"%%%% I!-" _

_"No. Save it for one those whores you bring home from the bar." He snarled and went to his room though his anger and bitterness was obviously false._

_"Hey! Guys check out this new game I bought!!" He smiled widely, I liked it whenever he smiled. I want him to smile more... but I'm the reason he's sad... I smile at him._

_"I'm sure its a fun game." I say, he stares at me for a moment, did I do something? Then he hugged me. I shoved him off and glared. "What the fuck!?!? I'm not one of your dumb teddy bears!!! Don't fucking touch me you baby!!" I shouted at him again, he started crying, and ran to his room. What a fucking baby. I sigh and head to my own room._

January 1st ××××

Today is the first day of a knew year! I hope this year ###### won't be so mean!

Maybe Eddie and Matty can play with me more!

I get lonely... they were gonna move my room to the basement, but I don't like the basement, its scary down there. There's lots of monsters.

January 4th ××××

My room is now in the basement, so I'mma sleep on the couch instead. I don't want the monsters to get me!!

January 6th ××××

Eddie got mad that I was sleeping on the couch, so he forced me to speep in my room.

A monster got me and now I'm itchy everywhere!!! 

January 20th ××××

My rooms back in my original room, I had to go to a doctor. I'm allergic to monsters!! Reeeaaaallllllyyyy allergic to monsters, so now I have an eppypin!! Eddies spraying the basement with this weird toxic chemical called monster be gone! 

February 1st

Matty gave me a mirror and said I looked pretty today!! It made me really happy!!! I like it when Matt says nice things!!


	6. A halloween special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a Halloween special, I was in the mood to do something spoopy and coot. Hehe

Tord stared at Tom. "Three..." Edds voice started counting. "Two.." Tord and Tom had to pick out each others costume, and it had to be either the funniest or scariest, then they would receive 20 dollars from Matt and Edd. "One..."

* * *

After paying they left the store, smirking as they exchanged costumes. Getting home was time to try them on.

Tom smiled slyly as he heard Tords shriek of utter disbelief. "I'M NOT WEARING THIS FOR HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!" Tom then opened the bag with his own costume and his eyes widened.

"TORD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?"

* * *

They left their rooms and to the living room they went. Tord, was wearing a unicorn onsie and holding a large foam sword. Tom was wearing a sexy cop costume.

Edd and Matt looked at each other then at the two males and burst out laughing, they each pulled out a twenty and handed it to Tom.

* * *

The day of hallows eve arrived, and Tord and Tom were being sent trick or treating with Matt, who was dressed as a vampire. All three held old pillowcases with their names. They came across a thoroughly decorated house, the women standing up front smiled at them and opened the door. "do you dare enter a home in which no one has returned from?" Tom, Matt and Tord all nodded and began the journey into the home. It was a large house with cream coloured walls and laminated light wood floor. Blood splatters were on the walls and the place was a mess, halloween decorations everywhere, creepy dolls and skeletons, ghosts and ghouls, zombies and skulls. Cob webs and large hairy spiders. Tord was already getting freaked out, then he heard the slam of a door and the lights went out. Tord grabbed the hand of the closest person and whimpered as they helped him find his way out, as the door opened to reveal the night sky, Tord smiled and hugged whoever had helped him, it wasn't Tom or Matt... Tord looked up at them and shrieked before falling flat on his back, fainting. Tom and Matt exited the house laughing, before seeing a zombie holding Tord, an icepack against his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short sorry. X3
> 
> Ifbyoubguys got any ideas and what I should do next with the story, let me know, I just might use them!^^


	7. Broken Hearts

_He stared at me.... I fear.. somethings up. But... he will not speak to me. My heart sinks, as he screams at me, his voice filled with pain. The tears streaming down his cheeks... It crushed me. I wrapped my arms around him as he broke apart in my arms. Why was I doing this? Pity? It had to be pity... he's... so much younger than me, Edd and Matt... he so much... smaller, and I know why... I saw it happen that day... just outside of school... He looked so scared... I had to do something but I froze, and watched... he didn't deserve... when I finally got him help, he was... so broken, scared of almost any masculine looking male... but no females wanted him... I felt so bad for him back then. We found two men, who loved this boy more than anything, he eventually learned that not all men are bad._

Opening the book I flip to the next page... reading what he wrote.

February 14th ××××

I'm scared. ##### is fighting with Eddie again... its because he drinks so much... 

Why is ##### so angry all the time? He used to be so happy and nice..

Mattys with me, he knows I don't like listening to fighting. He protects me. I love Matty, he's super nice. ButnI love ##### more...

I hope one day Me and ##### can be eachothers Valentine's.

He wanted me to be his Valentine?....

February 20th ××××

Today me and my friends played together. I had fun.

February 25th ××××

Me and my friends had fun.

February 28th ××××

I had fun.

The entries began repeating. Always the same. So simplistic... then I made it to the entries of this year...

Fear filled my head. What happened? 

××××

I had fun.

××××

I had fun.

××××

Today was fun.

××××

<strike> I'm scared </strike>

××××

<strike> Please help </strike>

××××

<strike> Somebody. </strike>

××××

<strike> It hurts. </strike>

××××

<strike> I feel alone. </strike>

××××

<strike> Why does no one help? </strike>

××××

I had fun.

××××

I had fun.

××××

Today  was fun.

××××

Today was fun.

××××

##### yelled at me.

××××

Eddies angry.

××××

Mattys scared.

××××

Help.

××××

Help.

××××

Help.

××××

Help

××××

Help

××××

Help

××××

Help

××××

Help

××××

Help

××××

Help

××××

Help

××××

Help

××××

Help

××××

I'm trying.

××××

Save me.

There were no dates just the year... My hands shook. I was at the last page... I didn't even wanna look.


	8. The Page.

My hands kept shaking, my stomach twisting i to knots, I felt sweat dripping off my forhead, down to my cheeks. I carefully turn the page, closeing my eyes...

_3_

_2_

I took a deep breath.

_1_

_._

_._

_._

_1_

_._

_._

_._

_1..._

I closed the book. Leaning over the edge of my bed, a burning sensation climbed through my throat, as I spilled whatever I had eaten last onto the floor. When the flood stopped, I was still leant over, coughing. My eye's were still closed. 

Then I heard it. A voice, almost... a whisper... so soft... so sweet...

I opened my eyes and felt tears fill them. I looked at my lap, the book still there, still worn down, still a rusty red, the smell of bacon grease and must. It was on the very first page.

This Book Belongs To Tord Laysen.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that its short. I hope you like the first chapter though!!!


End file.
